Just spoken to a friend of mine and she asked me this particular question which i thought that it was quite easy to answer but after hearing her version of answer, i was impressed. I told her that each of us will need to find a partner because we need someone to love and to share the joys and downs in life. and to start a family of our own. Then she told me her answer from her point of view.

She said that both should only get together when you realised that he/she can help you to grow and develop into a better person spiritually and how much both of you can serve God in a better manner. I was really surprised to hear this kind of answer because it really makes alot of sense to me. She makes me realised a couple of things about myself. It was one of those quality conversation that i had so far and i will always remember.

It got me thinking that alot of people these days did not really plan for their future in term of relationship. Many at times got married because of the wrong reasons such as buying a house, being together for very long, peer pressure or age issues etc. Personally i have also seen many failed marriages or relationships and most of them was for the same reasons such as character faults or money. So it makes me wonder how come they still want to get married in the first place?

Anyway this friend of mine is very logical at her first stage with the guy that is wooing her. She knew that nothing will come out between them hence she did not give herself any chance to be emotionally attached to him. She still treats the guy as normal friend but just rejected those romantic dates. This way, she is able to be emotionally detached from any feeling in the future because she is worried that if she lets herself continue with the guy, she may fall deeply and by the time she wants to get out, it will be quite painful. Such actions is what i called planning. Putting serious thought in every relationship with the person you want and wanting the best out of it.

If all of us are able to do so, i believe that the divorce rate in singapore will reduce by quite alot. Not forgetting that if both party shared the same religion or belief, it will surely helps alot. Because of the fact that both parties have God in mind, they will rely on this relationship with God to nurture the relationship.

I’m really glad that i have always been surrounded by nice people that have guided me the right way of life and through their sharing, i really benefited and grew as a person. Previously i have always looked for a relationship where i hope i can meet someone that is able to meet my expectations and normally when that doesn’t happen, my world seem to be crashing down. My friend made me realised that i am also looking for someone to give me credit for my own self-worth. Meaning if i failed in a relationship, i be blaming myself for what had happened and become unhappy. The correct way should not be this way because there is no person in this world that is able to give you credit for self worth especial God and yourself. We should be proud of who we are and be glad that our presence here will bring some happiness to people around us. We must never allow other people to determine our self worth because the moment you do that, your worth suddenly becomes worthless.

With this new belief in my life, i am going to live my life differently! I’m going to do some planning on my future relationship. I’m also going to share what i have learned with all my clients and friends that i’m meeting. Hope that i can be one adviser that not only versatile in financial matters but also in handling their relationship matters

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After watching, i felt the sudden urge to blog about this topic which is quite close to my heart. All these while, i have always been someone that treasure relationship more than anything. I always feel that regardless of how much wealth you have, if you don’t have friends or loved one beside you to share your joy, you are just as worthless as a bankrupt.

With money, you can buy anything in the world but simpy not relationship. Nothing is more precious than someone who truly cares and loves you. If you ever find a friend or you have a family member that do the same to you, you better treasure him/her. In my line of work, many people view money as the most important element in their life and some of them will go to certain extend in order to gain monetary reward. Just like some relationship managers in the bank who just concerned about hitting their target and neglected the important of client’s needs. Recently i have seen many people pretending to ask for directions and ended up he/she is actually trying to get the stranger to do a survey and eventually try to push a saving plan to the person. Many at times, i heard of people complaining that they have bought the wrong policy from their agents and as a result of time, they can’t really cancel due to the financial loss that they may incurred.  Everytime i heard such complains, i always feel quite sad for the person hence as a result i always tell myself that don’t ever sell a product just because of production but it must be able to value-add into a person life. 

Can you imagine that you sell the wrong product to your friends and one day something really happen to your friend and to your dismay, you can only do a minimal claim for him due to the wrong nature of the products. Can you feel how you are going to be feeliing at that point of time? I can tell you that it is going to be quite a ugly situation. What is the point of having the commission but you have to face the ugly music all of your life. If you really treasure your friends, you should always do the right thing. Such act is priceless!

Doing the right things in life is normally hard but it will always pay off. You just need to wait. Therefore i always tell my friends that so long you are doing the right things, carry on to do so because you just need one person to recognise the good effort and it’s worthwhile. Such from a client is always priceless! No money can ever buy you the kind of feeling that you get from the person who praises you.

To me kinship and friendship are priceless to me and i am wondering what is yours? Care to share? =)

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First thing first: Be SAD! Yes! Research has shown that once you really feel the sadness, it is much easier to get over something. Comparing to people who like to act brave and hide their true feeling, they will have problems getting over. Remember to cry it out if needed even tho you are a man! There is nothing wrong to be ashamed of because we are all human and it’s our right to be sad and cry.

Second thing: Talk to friends! Never attempt to be alone when you face a breakup because sometimes the chances of you committing sucide over a bad relationship is quite high. Moreover by talking to a friend, you let go the anger and frustration you felt inside and after that I guaranteed that you feel so much better. At the same time, it is a good time to find out who are your good friends?

Third thing: Take a close look at those people who keep fighting with their bf/gf and tell yourself that it maybe a good thing to be single because God has another plan for you and He does not want you to be unhappy in the future. There are many advantages of being single so do look at all the positive side!

Lastly: Understand that there are just as many nice people out there. There will be someone who will be able to appreciate you much better. Therefore the most important things to do is to live life better without him/her. If you ever think that by being sad or worse off can make the person feel bad, you are so wrong! The other person willl even be more happy because he/she will think they made the right choice. We got to ensure it is the opposite that is happening. They need to feel bad because they have lost a ‘diamond’ in their life.

To my dear readers, there are things other than relationship that is important in our life.  So let’s look ahead and move on after a heart-broken relationship. Don’t let people around you worry for you =)

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The basic thing is that everyone wants happiness, no one wants suffering. And happiness mainly comes from our own attitude, rather than from external factors. If your own mental attitude is correct, even if you remain in a hostile atmosphere, you feel happy.

The above statement was said by H.H. the Dalai Lama. Recently i just watched the movie ‘Handsome Suit’ This “Handsome Suit” revolves around the unattractive Takuro (Muga Tsukaji) who is the chef and owner of a restaurant. He confesses his love to a beautiful part-time worker but she turns him down and quits. However, Takuro later finds a magical suit that transforms him into a good-looking model that turns his life into a perfect world. At the end of the day, he still chose his old-self because he knows that that is what he really enjoys and be happy!

Through this show, i learnt a few things about happiness. First, learn how to count all the small blessings in your life. Be it having a free meal, a help from a colleague, being able to be healthy etc. If you know how to appreciate such small things in life, i am very sure that your life will be wonderful! Is it good to know that you are still able to walk as per normal and have the ability to do what you desire compared to those unfortunated? Don’t take it for granted and always make the full use of your ability to make a difference.

Second thing i learnt was to look beyond a person apperance! In my line, people always said that looks are the most important thing. Without it, you can’t sell! Personally i am not very good looking but i still have lots of clients looking for me. The reasons varies but some told me that it was because i take efforts in building relationship with them and i cared for them. I beg to differ from myth that ugly people don’t have friends! How many of us have very good friends that are not good looking? (honestly ask yourselves) In fact, some of my very good friends are not good looking at all but they made wonderful friends. They really cared about me and be there for me. In life, we build relationship and this is an area where it takes lots of skill and ‘talent’.  Treasure these relationships because they are special. It is only available to you! Some people also told me that beautiful people don’t make good friends because they are just too fake! I do have to admit to some extent (they made ‘useful’ friends only)

Last thing that i got from the show was that happiness is how you view your life. Do you feel happiness when you have lots of money  but alone or do you feel it when you have your loved one beside you supporting and enjoying all the moments with you but normal life? Last time i also keep asking myself whether am i happy? Seriously i have been searching for that answer even till today! Some times my answer is different at different stages of my life. There were times where i was happy when i can buy branded clothes, when i have enough money to substain my lifestyles, when i have a girlfriend etc. But i realised that after each time i achieved all these things in my life, i am still not very happy. Not to say that i am depressed but just not feeling happy. Then i came to realise that it was my expectations that caused me this way. I expect myself alot in term of work and relationship, wanting to achieve extreme good results and perfect relationship with my loved one. Guess it is typical of Librian to balance things in life but i guess by doing so, it can bring me alot more unhappiness.

I always feel that being contended and ambitious is just ONE FINE LINE away. Too much of ambitious makes you unhappy while being too contended makes you lazy! Hence through this show, it reminds me that i MUST change the way i view my life. I got to slow down and appreciated my achievements and be happy with myself. Only this way, i can learn how to be happy =)

So what is the ultimate success to happiness? The answer is inside the mirror =)

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Valentine day is around the corner and i’m sure some of us are cracking our brain for ideas. Hence I decided to share some of the ideas with you guys in case you run out of it. There are still many other ideas but i am just putting some down for your references. Make a little loving gesture every day for one full year.

Good luck guys! Go out there to romance your loved one and make them feel special. One thing to take note: Valentine gift need not be expensive. What is most important is the daily dose of love that you gave and it’s the thought that counts!

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Have you been having a rocky marriage lately, where every little exchange of words you have with your spouse always end up in fights? You reach a point where you do not know what to do and feel like giving up on the relationship totally? Do you still want the marriage to work and save your family?

 Here are some simple tips you can follow. Try these first before deciding on anything else.

1.       Treat the marriage as a sacred relationship – the famous Bible quote in Matthew 19:6 says “What God has yoked together let no man put apart”. Take your marriage as not only an agreement between you and your partner, but also both of you with God.

2.       Always speak respectfully –respect is the most crucial thing in marriage. It is the ultimate thing one should give to his/her partner. In all aspects of your everyday life, always treat your spouse with respect then you can gain his/hers.

3.       Develop kindness and compassion in the marriage – especially when couples are in a heated argument, they tend to forget all the love and passion they have or each other and will start blurting out hurtful comments. Always try to show your kindness and compassion for each other even in arguments, never be blinded by your spontaneous anger and do or say things you will regret afterwards.

4.       Show humility whenever possible – Try not to blame your partners for any problems, instead solve them together, find a way out to tackle them and make things better for both of you. It is important to praise your partner’s good efforts. When anything goes wrong, talk it out nicely and always consider your partner’s feelings first before you say anything too harsh.

5.       Never take offense too fast – When in an argument, do not straight away disregard your partner’s opinions or dive into defense if your partner questions you about your words. Listen to your partner first and observe their expression. Have a clear mind to think before you say anything. Couples tend to regret winning an argument through hurtful accusations.

Try these methods out and observe that it takes a little bit more of effort to make your marriage work. Your marriage is worth saving, do not make decisions you will regret later on.

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A marriage always begins with warm hearts full of love and passion, expecting the best for the future – a happy prosperous family. However, as we all know, in reality things are not that simple. To have a happy family, many obstacles will come our way, the marriage will encounter various challenges. Divorce rates today are getting alarmingly high; people are hesitant about the idea of marriage. Many thinks marriage is just a formality or a piece of paper. In actual fact, marriage is a form of legal step to take a relationship into another level.

Marriage is hard to maintain because of the endless number of problems. Just to name a few:

1.       High stress period – one might feel pressurized by the partner’s family or simply stressed by the financial issues in the family. Communication problems and struggle to adapt to the new life also contributes to stress in marriage life.

2.       Unrealistic expectation – marriage always begins with high expectations on various areas including your partner’s responsibilities. When these expectations are not met, couples start to get dissatisfied with each other.

3.       A communication crisis – this problem persist very often. Many a times couples argue over small things and matters get worse due to the lack of understanding and patience. Communication breakdown then happens and things might get complicated.

4.       Heavy responsibilities – as we all know, each person play an important role in a family. The husband is looked up as the head of the family and when married couples start to have kids, the responsibilities of each parent becomes bigger. Sometimes partners get disappointed with each other because they feel that their spouses are not responsible enough for the family.

These reasons are not here to discourage you to not get married but for one to know the reasons behind the difficulty of maintaining this sacred tie so that one can have more patience and be more understanding.

Now, keeping in mind all these, try to comprehend what your husband or wife is going through. Try not to argue over small things and always give in where possible. A marriage is not easy that is why it is important to go through your hardships together as a couple, both of you will come out of the troubled days stronger and better.

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Sometimes, even though you would hate to admit it, some friends should never become couples. While each relationship is different and almost all obstacles can be overcome, here are 5 situations in which you might want to consider just being friends.

#1 Your future goals are completely different.

Future goals play an important part in any relationship. If you are ambitious and your partner is not, then there may come a time when you realize that there is quite a gulf between you. The experiences of today, shape who you will become tomorrow. With the gulf in ambition, there could come a time when you just grow apart.

>#2 You have different core beliefs.

Every couple needs to have some basic common points of agreement in order to succeed. These “agreements” could be as simple as you both know you want children, or that you both have similar moral values. While different points of view are often healthy for a relationship, some differences maybe a little too difficult to bridge. If you cannot find workable comprises to these differences, then it would probably be better to just be friends.

#3 Your relationship is purely sexual.

While sex is an essential and integral part of any relationship, a relationship built solely on sex is probably not going to go far. When “your place or mine” sums up the extent of your conversation then you really should consider just being friends… with a few benefits here and there.

#4 One of you is more committed than the other.

One of the hardest situations to deal with is when one partner is obviously more committed to the relationship than the other. It may be because one loves the other more, or it could be that one of you is just not ready to make a commitment yet. Such situations often cause resentment to build up, probably on both sides. If this is happening to you, consider cooling it for a while until you are both ready for the next step.

#5 You were more loving as friends.

A friend of mine once described the relationship between himself and his ex-wife as “great friends that should never have gotten married.” That got me thinking and I realized that, with relationships come responsibilities and expectations that are not present between friends. If these added responsibilities and expectations are causing you to spend more time arguing and fighting than loving, then you might want to go back to what was successful for you・ just being friends.

Remember, deciding whether or not to stay in a relationship is not a decision to be taken lightly and every relationship is different. The chances are, if you are reading this article then you probably are having a few doubts about your relationship. When making your decision, make sure you are not just having a “bad relationship day” and make your decisions for the long term. The above situations are just some guidelines to help you on your way.

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Along the lines of open communication, it’s also important that you let your partner know if they have said or done something to hurt you. Failure to do so will allow the problem to continue to cause problems in the marriage. Most people after some time tend to develop negative feelings after keeping the feeling too long within themselves. If you bottle up your feelings your partner will be unaware of what they have done to hurt you and may be likely to repeat their actions. You also may begin to avoid your partner because you are angry and you don’t want to start a confrontation. Your partner in turn may sense you behaving differently and be annoyed by your behavior. Simply coming out and telling your partner why you are upset can help you avoid this unnecessary host of problems.

Opposite character attracts. Understanding that you and your partner won’t always be in complete agreement is also critical to a happy marriage. While you may agree on a lot of things, it would be unrealistic to believe that you and your partner will be in sync at all times. It’s okay to disagree sometimes as long as you respect each other’s feelings and beliefs and do not think that any one disagreement will be the end of the relationship.

Spontaneity is also an important part of a happy marriage. Allowing you to fall into a predictable pattern can lead to boredom but being spontaneous at times will prevent boredom from setting in and keep the relationship interesting. No wonder people always miss the dating process because that was when people are most spontaneity.

Finally, remembering why you married your spouse is one of the most important secrets of a happy marriage. Always remembering what it is about your partner that drew you to them will make certain that you never forget your love for your partner. It will also ensure that they are always beautiful in your eyes. Many things may change throughout the course of your marriage but the one thing that will always remain is the reason you fell in love in the first place.

A happy marriage is not guaranteed no matter how much the partners love each other. There are so many variables that can have an effect on the happiness and success of the marriage. It is important that both partners realize that they must continuously work on all of these aspects if they want their marriage to remain a happy and healthy relationship.

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Having a happy marriage doesn’t necessarily come easily just because you love each other. While love is very important in a marriage sometimes it just isn’t enough and you have to work at your marriage just like any other relationship. Open communication and careful consideration of each other feelings are two of the emotional aspects that are keys to a happy marriage. Even more mundane details such a household responsibilities and financial understanding can factor into the state of the marriage. It is imperative to understand that a marriage is a multi-faceted relationship that needs to be nurtured in all of its capacities in order to be successful.

Being willing to make sacrifices is one secret to a happy marriage. Both partners in the marriage must be prepared to put their partner’s happiness ahead of their own from time to time for the marriage to truly work. If either partner is completely self centered and unwilling to make sacrifices it will create resentment in the marriage. At times the sacrifices may be big but most often it’s the smaller things that matter most. Even preparing a dish that you don’t like but that you know your spouse likes lets your partner know that you care and are willing to put their happiness first at times.  

While making sacrifices is important in a happy marriage, it is also important to sometimes do things that are just for you. It’s great to have a lot of common interests but it’s also essential to have some things that you enjoy doing on your own. Having some separate activities gives you a little time away from your partner once in awhile and gives you a chance realize how much you miss them when you are apart. It also gives you an opportunity to explore things on your own and prevents boredom in the relationship.

Another secret to a happy marriage is to maintain an intimate and affectionate relationship. Sharing physical closeness will keep your marriage happy. Even small gestures such as hugs or holding hands give you the opportunity to reconnect with your spouse on a daily basis. Make it a habit to say the 3 special words to her.

 Finances can cause a great deal of stress in a marriage so it is important to do your best to ensure that you do not allow your financial situation to destroy your marriage. When financial concerns arise it is important to discuss the problems so that both partners are aware of what is going on and to work on establishing a budget together. Getting involved together on this issue will make sure that neither partner feels left out of the decision making process and neither partner bears the stress of worrying about finances on their own.

Sharing household responsibilities is another secret to a happy marriage. If either partner feels as though they are taking on too much responsibility in the household it can lead to resentment. Not only does sharing these responsibilities prevent resentment but it also gives the couple an opportunity to work as a team which strengthens their bond. Both partners need to take an active role in completing household chores and let their partner know if they are beginning to feel overburdened. Those were the days when the man stay out and woman stay in. Now both are equal.

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