A marriage always begins with warm hearts full of love and passion, expecting the best for the future – a happy prosperous family. However, as we all know, in reality things are not that simple. To have a happy family, many obstacles will come our way, the marriage will encounter various challenges. Divorce rates today are getting alarmingly high; people are hesitant about the idea of marriage. Many thinks marriage is just a formality or a piece of paper. In actual fact, marriage is a form of legal step to take a relationship into another level.

Marriage is hard to maintain because of the endless number of problems. Just to name a few:

1.       High stress period – one might feel pressurized by the partner’s family or simply stressed by the financial issues in the family. Communication problems and struggle to adapt to the new life also contributes to stress in marriage life.

2.       Unrealistic expectation – marriage always begins with high expectations on various areas including your partner’s responsibilities. When these expectations are not met, couples start to get dissatisfied with each other.

3.       A communication crisis – this problem persist very often. Many a times couples argue over small things and matters get worse due to the lack of understanding and patience. Communication breakdown then happens and things might get complicated.

4.       Heavy responsibilities – as we all know, each person play an important role in a family. The husband is looked up as the head of the family and when married couples start to have kids, the responsibilities of each parent becomes bigger. Sometimes partners get disappointed with each other because they feel that their spouses are not responsible enough for the family.

These reasons are not here to discourage you to not get married but for one to know the reasons behind the difficulty of maintaining this sacred tie so that one can have more patience and be more understanding.

Now, keeping in mind all these, try to comprehend what your husband or wife is going through. Try not to argue over small things and always give in where possible. A marriage is not easy that is why it is important to go through your hardships together as a couple, both of you will come out of the troubled days stronger and better.

How should one learn to respect and love your partner? This question has been the minds of many couples that I spoke to and this is definitely one of the popular topics that were discussed during coffee breaks or chill out session.

To me, leading a successful relationship is like leading your own life. Do you see successful people have certain guidelines or principles that determine how they handle daily situations? Hence in a relationship, we also have certain principles that we got to follow

Communications is the key factor in a successful marriage. If a couple is able to talk to each other about everything, major or trivial, they will do just fine, maybe better than most couples. There are stuff to adhere to if you would like your marriage to be a “happily, ever after” one. Make it a habit to commit.

No name callings please. No “lame man”s, “fatso” s or anything like that. This is not effective communication. Never put each other down. It’s not funny anymore when it repeats, just like old jokes. Remember we must learn how to raise his/her self esteem.

Be a good listener. This has been said by many people, many times, and is really a good advice, one that, sadly, few follows through. Really listen and take in what is said, then ask good questions if necessary.

Tell each other what each other like and dislikes. These bring the couple closer and avoid stepping on each other’s tail. Knowing oneself and one’s most important person brings the relationship to a level that can never come down too fast.

 If you would like to expect changes, remember that changes should start from yourself before you can influence another, Start asking your spouse how you could be a better person, listen attentively, don’t criticize, and start making a list to change your life. Only after doing so then you can try to influence a change in your spouse. And be patient if the change is slow. Know that almost all people hate changes. Always been, always will be.

Hand language. Hold hands. It works for both parties. Kiss her hands whenever you are walking. Tell her how much you enjoy holding her.

Kiss her every day and tell her that you love her. Although these three words seem simple but I tell you, it can make a good marriage out of it. Slowly love and trust will build up to form a happy relationship

Try it on your partner right now and I bet she/he will find you even more attractive. Do it now!