Well as a matter of fact, I have to agree to disagree because it really doesn’t matter whether have I went through the experience to be able to provide genuine and useful advice. A coach doesn’t necessarily need to be the number one player to be teaching someone to be number one because it is a total different game plan. If you don’t believe it, go google Tiger Wood’s coach’s biography, and you’ll too see that his golfing skills probably doesn’t supercede Tiger Wood’s.

I have always prided myself to be my client’s financial coach whereby I do my best to provide the best advice to them so as to maximize their benefits with minimum resources. I know that there are many consultants out there providing advice that is more beneficial to themselves more than their clients therefore I hope to be able to rectify this problem through the people I meet. I will always do a restructuring of my client’s insurance portfolio if needed especially when I discover that they have in fact purchased many ‘pointless’ policies. Those policies are usually sold either through roadshow agents or by their friends who asked them to ‘support’ them. Well, I am not saying that it is wrong to support your friend but it is often the case where the so-called friend actually sells the plan based on his interest and not the client’s.

Back to the issue of money management between couples, many couples face a lot of issues relating to bad money management during their early years of marriage. Some even related it as early as during their courtship times. Seriously, during the serious courtship years (Abt 1-2 years before marriage), it is the right time to start saving and planning for your futures. During this phase of your lives, you have to be completely honest with each other about your financial situations and visions. You need to decide who is going to be the financial controller and how your future decisions regarding money is going to be decided. You also have to start allocating a certain percentage of your income for different purposes and that includes insurance.

Ideally two people are supposed to be savers but in reality if you happen to have one saver and one spender in a relationship, I think it is already quite wonderful because can you imagine two of them are spenders? Two of them will not have a sense of responsibility towards money and will splurge the money in whatever way they like. Over time, I can assure you that they will divorce one day because of money issues. Personally I can relate well in this area because of my family background. There are 3 couples in my family which I used to do a study and see which one is the best for me to model after (shall not reveal too much personal stuffs.)

Yet there are people who tell me that planning too much will not work due to the fact that it takes too long and is too troublesome to maintain. Allow me to ask you this question: “ Would you rather take time to plan out before marriage or take time to rough out all the money issues ahead of you after marriage when you are both only in the mid 20s” I’m sure different folks have different strokes and we all take responsibilities for our decisions. Hence at the end of the day, it’s the couple that bears the consequences.

To sum it up, do allow me to share with you on the things that are within a couple’s decision to plan for. Below are the things that I gathered based on my personal observations and other’s experiences:

-          Decide whether it is important to hold a hotel wedding dinner as compared to a simple lunch ceremony.

-          Set aside a budget for the whole wedding inclusive of shoots and gowns and start saving 1-2yr before.

-          Also put aside small amount of money for renovation loans

-          Make sure your CPFOA has enough funds to settle the initial down-payment of the flat.

-          Have a joint account mainly for household expenses (% allocation is negotiable between couple)

-          Set aside 5-10% of monthly income for luxury stuffs for couple. It can be used to buy branded stuffs or mainly for holiday trips. Not only will it motivate couples to save, it will also build stronger bonds when going for trips and cut down on unnecessary quarrels.

-          Decide on the type of insurance plans to buy and find a good consultant that is in the business for long.

-          If you need to buy a family car, decide on the type of car you need and budget. I often advise not more than 35% of family income should go into buying a car. This includes considerations of petrol, road tax, insurance and car maintenance. 

I really hope that my sharing can benefit the couples out there who spend time to read my post. It may not be easy to implement nor work through but I am very sure it is something that is worth practicing to have a happy and blissful marriage.

Just spoken to a friend of mine and she asked me this particular question which i thought that it was quite easy to answer but after hearing her version of answer, i was impressed. I told her that each of us will need to find a partner because we need someone to love and to share the joys and downs in life. and to start a family of our own. Then she told me her answer from her point of view.

She said that both should only get together when you realised that he/she can help you to grow and develop into a better person spiritually and how much both of you can serve God in a better manner. I was really surprised to hear this kind of answer because it really makes alot of sense to me. She makes me realised a couple of things about myself. It was one of those quality conversation that i had so far and i will always remember.

It got me thinking that alot of people these days did not really plan for their future in term of relationship. Many at times got married because of the wrong reasons such as buying a house, being together for very long, peer pressure or age issues etc. Personally i have also seen many failed marriages or relationships and most of them was for the same reasons such as character faults or money. So it makes me wonder how come they still want to get married in the first place?

Anyway this friend of mine is very logical at her first stage with the guy that is wooing her. She knew that nothing will come out between them hence she did not give herself any chance to be emotionally attached to him. She still treats the guy as normal friend but just rejected those romantic dates. This way, she is able to be emotionally detached from any feeling in the future because she is worried that if she lets herself continue with the guy, she may fall deeply and by the time she wants to get out, it will be quite painful. Such actions is what i called planning. Putting serious thought in every relationship with the person you want and wanting the best out of it.

If all of us are able to do so, i believe that the divorce rate in singapore will reduce by quite alot. Not forgetting that if both party shared the same religion or belief, it will surely helps alot. Because of the fact that both parties have God in mind, they will rely on this relationship with God to nurture the relationship.

I’m really glad that i have always been surrounded by nice people that have guided me the right way of life and through their sharing, i really benefited and grew as a person. Previously i have always looked for a relationship where i hope i can meet someone that is able to meet my expectations and normally when that doesn’t happen, my world seem to be crashing down. My friend made me realised that i am also looking for someone to give me credit for my own self-worth. Meaning if i failed in a relationship, i be blaming myself for what had happened and become unhappy. The correct way should not be this way because there is no person in this world that is able to give you credit for self worth especial God and yourself. We should be proud of who we are and be glad that our presence here will bring some happiness to people around us. We must never allow other people to determine our self worth because the moment you do that, your worth suddenly becomes worthless.

With this new belief in my life, i am going to live my life differently! I’m going to do some planning on my future relationship. I’m also going to share what i have learned with all my clients and friends that i’m meeting. Hope that i can be one adviser that not only versatile in financial matters but also in handling their relationship matters

Sometimes, even though you would hate to admit it, some friends should never become couples. While each relationship is different and almost all obstacles can be overcome, here are 5 situations in which you might want to consider just being friends.

#1 Your future goals are completely different.

Future goals play an important part in any relationship. If you are ambitious and your partner is not, then there may come a time when you realize that there is quite a gulf between you. The experiences of today, shape who you will become tomorrow. With the gulf in ambition, there could come a time when you just grow apart.

>#2 You have different core beliefs.

Every couple needs to have some basic common points of agreement in order to succeed. These “agreements” could be as simple as you both know you want children, or that you both have similar moral values. While different points of view are often healthy for a relationship, some differences maybe a little too difficult to bridge. If you cannot find workable comprises to these differences, then it would probably be better to just be friends.

#3 Your relationship is purely sexual.

While sex is an essential and integral part of any relationship, a relationship built solely on sex is probably not going to go far. When “your place or mine” sums up the extent of your conversation then you really should consider just being friends… with a few benefits here and there.

#4 One of you is more committed than the other.

One of the hardest situations to deal with is when one partner is obviously more committed to the relationship than the other. It may be because one loves the other more, or it could be that one of you is just not ready to make a commitment yet. Such situations often cause resentment to build up, probably on both sides. If this is happening to you, consider cooling it for a while until you are both ready for the next step.

#5 You were more loving as friends.

A friend of mine once described the relationship between himself and his ex-wife as “great friends that should never have gotten married.” That got me thinking and I realized that, with relationships come responsibilities and expectations that are not present between friends. If these added responsibilities and expectations are causing you to spend more time arguing and fighting than loving, then you might want to go back to what was successful for you・ just being friends.

Remember, deciding whether or not to stay in a relationship is not a decision to be taken lightly and every relationship is different. The chances are, if you are reading this article then you probably are having a few doubts about your relationship. When making your decision, make sure you are not just having a “bad relationship day” and make your decisions for the long term. The above situations are just some guidelines to help you on your way.